80yo and Chaste


An 80 year who's never had sex gets an itch in her crotch area, so she goes to the doctor who checks her out and tells her she has crabs.

She explained that she couldn't have crabs because she was chaste, but the doctor didn't believe her, so she went to get a second opinion.

The second doctor gave her the same answer. So she went to a third doctor and said "Please help me. This itch is killing me and I know that I don't have crabs because I'm chaste.

The doctor checks her out and says, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have crabs, the bad news is that your vagina has rotted and you have maggotts.


There was an old maid who in spite of her old age, was still chaste and proud of it.

She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin.

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but as the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long, so they simply wrote: Returned unopened


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