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Sex Talk

A conversation recorded

My sister Ciara and her friend Sandy were a little bored as they sat watching the rain running down the windows. I’d just stacked fire and I think they’d forgotten I was still there doing some homework, but it was hard not to hear what they were saying and this is some of their conversation.

Sandy: what is it about men Ciara? You know I quite like Alfie, in many ways he’s really nice and I feel strongly attracted to him but he’s really useless at sex.

Ciara: unfortunately I kinda know what you mean because most of the boys I’ve been with just please themselves and sometimes I just can’t be bothered having sex because I’m

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A Lack of Sleep

A basic human need

We have not even noticed that the cause behind all many illnesses and disorders of our lives may be a lack of sleep and the amount and quality of sleep has changed with the development of human civilization.

From the day man discovered artificial light, sleep has become very troubled and as more and more gadgets fall into our hands, the quality of sleep continues to change. There was a time when people spent 6 to 8 hours per night in total darkness, but with all the modern gadgetry we have today, few bedrooms are completely dark due to the number of LED lights that run 24 seven.

But others think sleep is unnecessary and too

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Sex Education

One of the many failures of modern civilisation

For most of us, our parents lives were less than perfect. Like all children, at some point during those formative years, the opposite sex became attractive giving rise to sexual feelings without necessarily having any intellectual appreciation of what was happening.

The transition from childhood through adolescence can be a biochemical nightmare for a great many children. They have hormones flowing through their bodies and sometimes uncontrollable urges are so strong that they have to quickly find a private space to relieve themselves through masturbation or some other activity that relieves the pressure of that energy building up inside of them.

As our parents left us to navigate sexuality alone, most parents

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Kids in Church

Humour

3-year-old Reese : ‘Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.’ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was overheard praying: ‘Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.’

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After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, ‘That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, And I wanted to stay with you guys.’

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One particular four-year-old prayed, ‘And forgive us our trash baskets As we forgive those who put trash in

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Mouth Ulcers

A pain in the mouth

Mouth Ulcers (also known as canker sores) are sores in the mouth which appear on the soft tissues inside the mouth, most commonly in young adults aged 15 – 25 and affect women more than men. They are similar in appearance to pimples or cold sores and should not be mistaken, but they are generally yellow or grey in colour and vary in size.

This very common affliction will often heal without any medication, however the more troublesome form is when they reoccur regularly and this is termed ‘aphthous stomatitis’ or “Sutton’s Disease” which is a very common oral condition affecting as much as 10% of the population and women are more often

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Breast Development

A Rite of Passage

Typical of a young girl with budding breast. the white area is due to wearing a tiny bikini.

For girls who want to grow up, it can be an exciting time when breasts finally start growing, but it can also be an anxious time, with lots of worries… like how big will they get, will they look good, and is anything wrong with mine? An early onset of breast development can cause some confusion not only for a girl, but her family and friends as her body begins to take on the appearance of someone several years older.

With the growth of breasts and menstruation, an intellectual and emotional maturing must also take place as

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Comic relief

Humour

You may well laugh, but after 70 years of deprivation, I but you’d be curious to!

In school

Teacher; “If I stand on my head, you will see my face will turn red because blood flows into my head. But that does not happen when I stand on my feet. Why?”

Student; “Because the feet aren’t empty.”

Bur seriously, yoga is good for you

Condoms

Cover your stump before you hump

Condoms; the surest way not to get pregnant or catch any STD

Jason and Eddie were talking as boys about the girl that Eddie was about to go out with. She was reputed enjoy sex and that he should take some condoms. Eddie decided that he should be safe and responsible so he went to the pharmacy to buy some condoms.

Despite his embarrassment at the idea, he plucked up the courage and went to the pharmacy. He was relieved that there were no other customers and he rather nervously asked the pretty young woman behind the counter for some.

She suspected he was a virgin trying to do the right thing, so

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Condoms

Humour

1. Cover your stump before you hump.

2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.

3. Don’t be silly, protect your willy.

4. When in doubt, shroud your sprout.

5. Don’t be a loner, cover your boner.

6. You can’t go wrong if you shield your dong.

7. If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

8. If you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey.

9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.

10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.

11. She won’t get sick if you wrap your dick.

12. If you go into heat, package your meat.

13. While you’re undressing Venus, dress up that penis.

14.

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