Categories

Community Service

Humour

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to

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Nestlé Milo

A favourite yet mildly toxic beverage

In 1934, Australian industrial chemist and inventor Thomas Mayne developed Milo and launched it at the Sydney Royal Easter Show. Milo was then produced at a plant located in Smithtown, near Kempsey on the North Coast of New South Wales. The name was derived from the famous Ancient Greek athlete Milo of Crotona, after his legendary strength.

Milo soon became a favourite children’s drink in Australia and New Zealand, and we are not sure if it was developed for Nestlé or bought by them soon after it was introduced. But it has proved a winner and is widely sold around the world today.

Most people love the taste of milo, but what’s in it?

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Neoliberal democracy

Are you free?

“Instead of citizens, it produces consumers. Instead of communities, it produces shopping malls. The net result is an atomized society of disengaged individuals who feel demoralized and socially powerless.

All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume.

In sum, neoliberalism is the immediate and foremost enemy of genuine participatory democracy, not just in the United States but across the planet, and will be for the foreseeable future.

Education is a system of imposed ignorance. The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly

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Politicians

Humour/Satire

Q: Why was there so much confusion in the US Secret Service after George W. Bush became president? A: President Clinton’s code name was “Mr. Bush.”

The definition of diplomacy is the ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

Q: What do you get when you order a ‘Hillary Clinton’ at KFC? A: Two breasts and a left wing.

Q: What do you call 20 corrupt politicians who died in a plane crash? A: A good start.

Q: Why are politicians like diapers? A: You have to change them often as they get filled with shit.

Politicians

Osama and George

Humour

Three guys, Osama bin Laden, George W. Bush and a Canadian guy are out walking together one day. They came across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.

The genie said “I will give each of you one wish. That’s three wishes in total”.

The Canadian said, “I’m a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.”

With a blink of the genie’s eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state.”

Again, with

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George W Bush Leadership Test

Humour

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they’re intelligent.

“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, “Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”

Tony Blair responds, “It’s me, ma’am.”

“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says, “Did you get that,

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Father Paul

Celibacy; a modern problem

Paul was intelligent and he did well at school. During his early teens he took an interest in sports, his athleticism was good and when it came time to choose, he chose basketball instead of football.

He was developing into a nice looking young man and like most boys his age, he developed a natural curiosity about girls and sex. Although not religious, his parents were typical Presbyterian, they worked hard and rationed their pleasure.

His elder sister was his best friend until she began dating. Although he didn’t like to admit it, he was jealous and the thought of her being touched by those boys she went out with revolted him. His younger sister was

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Yes Prime Minister

A win for democracy

Played on BBC via Sky TV on October 6th, a win for democracy was the sixth episode of the satirical BBC comedy series first broadcast 13 February 1986 which characteristically took the piss out of the British democratic government. But it was also an interesting look back at international politics and international arms agreements at the time Afghanistan was under Russian occupation.

Where is New Zealand’s political satire?

Beehave / Safetotell on youtube make a good attempt although we must remember that “Satire, ridicule and denigration of MPs using any television footage shot from parliamentary galleries is to be banned under rules proposed by the standing orders committee.” NZH. Then we had Colin

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John Key

New Zealand’s Prime Minister – servant or felon?

John flanked by para military police

John Key became New Zealand’s 38th prime minister in the election of 2008. So, who is this man in charge of New Zealand?

Early history

John Phillip Key was born in Auckland on August 9th, 1961 and moved to Christchurch as a child where he attended the University of Canterbury and graduated in 1981 with a bachelor of commerce.

Money trader

He began a career in the foreign exchange market in New Zealand where he became known as the “smiling assassin” due to his calm and earnest presence amongst the young cowboys playing for fortunes and Porsches in the heady pre-sharemarket crash world: “they’re like

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