Perceptive Children - humour
A woman was trying hard to get the tomato sauce that had thickened out of the jar. During her struggle the phone ring so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it and she said "mommy can't come to the phone right now, she's hitting the bottle".
Ladies locker room
He young boy got loss at the YMCA and found himself in a woman's locker room. When he was seen, some of the ladies almost panicked to cover themselves up. The boy watched in amazement and asked "what's the matter, having never seen a little before."
A police dog handler at the end of his shift was unloading gear from his vehicle when the dog started barking. A young boy passing stopped and asked "is that a dog you've got back there?" The officer replied yes and the boy with a puzzled expression looked at him very seriously and asked "what did he do?"
Meals of wheels
While delivering for meals on wheels I used to take my four-year-old daughter. She was intrigued by the various appliances, canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day she stopped and stared at a pair of false teeth soaking a glass and she turned to me and said "the tooth fairy will never believe this".
A young girl was watching her parents dress for a party and when she saw her dad putting on his tuxedo she warned "daddy you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not my dear?" He replied.
She said "you know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
New to school
After completing her first week at school, the young girl said to her mother "I'm just wasting my time. I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."
On the first day of school a first grader past the teacher I note from her mother. The note read "the opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of her parents."
A young boy opened a big family bible and was fascinated as the fingered through the old pages. Then an old leaf that had been pressed between the pages fell out and he exclaimed "Mum, look what I found."
"What have you found dear?" She asked.
He thought for a moment and said "I think it's Adam's underwear."
I was driving with my children one hot afternoon and ahead of us were some people in a convertible. When we pulled up beside them at the traffic lights the woman stood up and she was completely naked. From the back seat my five-year-old son exclaimed "gosh Mum, that lady isn't wearing a seatbelt."
While walking past the church I saw the minister's son and a couple of other kids conducting a solemn ceremony. I paused to watch and they'd found dead bird and the son appointed to conduct a funeral. They'd bigger small hole and wrapped a bird on a piece of cloth and similarly as his father sometimes said, he said "Glory be to the Father and to the son and into the hole he goes."
Dad "I just farted in my wallet."
Son "Now you have gas money"