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Girls and Men

What a girl has to cope with

Just think, I am a human female and like most probably dumbed down by my education and layered with expectations to make my parents happy by finding a decent sort of man and having children of my own someday.

To be fair or must state that our social and political environment not to mention our ecological environment leave a lot to be desired. The world is not fair or just and yet one is expected to be "a good honest person" while all around you everyone is fighting and cheating. So how do you cope with this and build a life for yourself?

In addition to all of that, there is school to attend, menstruation to deal with and I should point out that the discomfort that many girls experience during menstruation can be reduced by doing yoga exercises, avoiding drugs and alcohol along with junk food. Your body is a biological machine and it needs proper nutrition. When lifestyle, diet and nutrition are in order, menstruation is rarely problematic.

A girl has to deal with dress codes, the opinions of other girls and women, boys and men who stare at your body and pass comments as well as the barrage of media and advertising telling you how you should look and behave.

Some girls try to cope by dropping out and drinking alcohol or taking drugs but that generally has other unpleasant side-effects and simply slots you into another social arena with different boundaries and expectations.

You have this wonderful body, a biological mechanism and a home for your soul for the next 80 years or so. This remarkable body can be trained so that you can climb mountains, sail the oceans, have two or three babies, and some woman have 20 or more although that is socially irresponsible. So the bottom line here is that you are trying to determine yourself as a socially responsible human being.

You need to remember that some time in our distant past the men got together and decided that because they were stronger than women that women should be second-class citizens. Before then women were revered and even idolised although that is a different form of psychosis with its own problems.

Women and men have equal rights under law in most western countries although under Islam, a woman is little more than a slave, a doormat and a baby factory. Within Christianity, this attitude is still there but it's not enforced by the law as it is within Islam.

One of the burgeoning desires that comes with having a developing body is to experience it in so many different ways. Within our social structure girls are taught that it's morally wrong to have sex until after marriage. Fewer girls are taking notice of this imperative today and the majority of Western women have sex several times before marriage. There is some value in trying before you buy and testing a prospective partner to see that your bodies and emotions joyfully interact before doing something stupid like marrying a turnip.

You are growing up within a field of mythology that says that you must wear a bra. It is in some ways the Western equivalent of a hijab, a restraint. The bra has no health benefits and won't stop your boobs from sagging over time although it may stop your boobs from slapping your face when you run. Of course it's only in the last hundred years that women wore any underwear and knickers were a sanitary item because of various factors that caused a little leakage.

When you have that desire for sex, it's a problem because if you have sex with someone then people find out there is a risk that you will get a bad name depending which sector of society you live in. Having sex is a healthy activity provider you don't get any nasty surprises like an STD or pregnant when you don't want to be.

Having read this far but like you to understand that you have the freedom to determine your own life, to dress how you please, to do the things that you want to but you still have other choices. Men will look and take the opportunity to touch, sometimes and appropriately in addition to inappropriate comments. You have the choice here of becoming a feminist bitch and drawing public attention and even prosecution against these men. Alternatively, you could only yourself as a woman accepting the fact that you are appreciated and desired accept comments as flattery and take ownership of your body. Another thing is to avoid leading men on, it's so easy to do but this causes emotional harm to you and to him. Some guys who have been led on also respond violently and women who do this need to wake up.

By taking ownership of yourself and your body, you can determine what happens to you even if someone were trying to rape you or otherwise overpower you. You need to learn the art of femininity and there is a wisdom that goes with that. The guys hitting on you want two things, intimacy in the disguise of sex, and control.

When you completely own yourself, own your own life and know how to be responsible for you, you can deal with any shit and it rolls like water off a ducks back. Even if someone molests you, generally if you are sweet in return, the aggressor quite often becomes compliant and you can direct proceedings.

As an emerging woman growing up is about discovering your power to be with people and to lead because after all imprinted down inside your DNA is a desire to create as comfortable sustainable life for your children and their children's children's children.

Know that our social structure is an artificial man-made construct and not the only reality. Train your body through yoga, sport or martial arts. Train your mind and know how it works through meditation, your life, your responsibility.

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