An institution we can't disparage

Marriage is a solution that provides some stability for our children and while it's not perfect because we don't yet know perfection, it's what we've got and have to work with. There are many variations on marriage as there are variations in beliefs and ideas. For some monogamy works yet some can't commit. For others polygamy, polyandry or some type of open relationship works.

While its primarily an arrangement for breeding, it's also become a social institution and in western society, one of the best ways to survive economically. Here you'll find some discussions on marriage and its aspects.

Our belief about being in a romantic relationship often leads us into intimate relationships that aren’t fruitful because our beliefs are self-serving, not selfless and if the other doesn’t live up to your expectations, you’re crushed and in being crushed you reveal that your love wasn't love, it was need.

Before getting married, I used to think marriage would be all rosy and make my life much better. In reality, it is you who decides to make your life better. To expect your spouse to magically make everything okay is an unfair expectation, after all; like you they have flaws and weaknesses. Marriage is not a band-aid fix to your problems, marriage is helping each other by, standing by one another and navigating life together.

There are various forms of fantasy in relation to getting married:

I want one of those marriages where after 20 years we are still crazy in love, to still cuddle and kiss on the couch, to have continuous excitement and adventure.

There are also various forms of stupidity in relation to marriage:

She says: I know it’s hard to wait. I know it’s so hard to face rejection after rejection, the fear of never finding the right guy. But the right guy is worth waiting for. Stop settling for guys who don’t wholeheartedly follow Jesus. Stop dating guys who are “good” but don't follow Jesus, who do not bring you closer to Him because if a guy doesn’t follow Jesus, he cannot love you right.

Some can have a great marriage as long as they don’t live together, share finances, or raise children but marriage is a partnership. Two can never become one, yet they must be able to harmonise. To do this they need to cultivate an inner sweetness.


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