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Never Trust a Lawyer

A cautionary tale from the case files

How does an attorney sleep? Well, first he lies on one side, then he lies on the other and now from humour to fact:

Dear Sir or Mdm,
Many years ago I was happy with your service and more recently when I rang asking if you held any documentation in regards to my estate and for information in regard to hiring your service, the lady who identified herself immediately took control of the conversation and began asking questions in relation to making the document.

I thought at the time it was unnecessary and I had some difficulty getting a word in edgewise to actually ask what I really wanted to know which was just the price for this service and basic details as I may have asked any service provider. At no time during that initial conversation was I informed that I was under any obligation and already accruing a hefty fee. Surely you have some obligation to advise this fact?

After some time I received a document that to my mind wasn't fit for purpose and soon after I chanced to check my email and was horrified to get a hefty invoice for my enquiry. On a previous occasion your company worked for me and I was required to sign a document of intent before you commenced work on my behalf and the money-meter was turned on, interesting how things have changed for the worst.

Anyhow, being rather horrified to receive an invoice for a service I was inquiring about but not ordering, I replied to that effect after which your agent phoned implying that this was how your company does business but offered no answer as to why I was not informed that I was under any obligation other than she had spent a few minutes questioning me and volunteering to send a draft example of the product that I had not asked for, and had not expected but thought it was a nice opening to later sell the product that I would have purchased with some amendments.

Your invoice also includes a search for data which you are not authorised to carry out. The invoice also includes the exchange of emails which within my understanding of conducting business were to solicit or get my business?

As I was inquiring about your service and at no time did I actually engage your service, your agent on her own initiative questioned me and volunteered to send the information so I hope you understand why I am so upset. The attitude of your sales parson who I expect represents your company's attitude leaves me feeling bullied and intimidated, I could never have expected such treatment from a company I once respected.

A dissatisfied customer.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One is a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

The problem about making lawyer jokes is that you may have to hire one if you get sued for slander.

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