A sex crime and a loss of humanity
Around the world every day and even as you read this, it's mostly women that are being raped. In case you don't know, rape is the forcing of someone to engage in the act of sexual intercourse, but rape can also be the desecration of any person or place.
The rapist, the person or persons who commit rape act because they feel or believe that they have the right and that the person they are raping does not have the right to resist. Rape can also be seen as theft, of taking or indulging in an action to which one has no legitimate right.
However if we dig down deep and examine the psychology of the rapist, it doesn't matter if they are a husband raping his wife, a lonely man spiking a woman's drink so that he can have sex with her, a soldier raping a woman in the process of conquest or even a man consenting to sex just to keep her happy.
There is no doubt that humanity is in a state of crisis, we are raping the planet and raping each other in so many different ways. So rape is part of, or a symptom of an overall sickness that arises from the fact that we do not know who we are. The very idea of rape lies at the heart of modern capitalism.
The wealth of the Western world was taken by force, entire populations of ancient tribal cultures have been almost completely annihilated. The extraction of oil, the chopping down the forests and the indiscriminate abuse of the environment is a rape. But we continue to rape each other because people in a way have become commodities and different communities feed off each other.
Capitalistic societal abuse as well as developing the rape culture has sexualised society by creating false realities for the majority of the population. Yet the authorities, many who are rapists themselves all the victims of rape simply try to contain the problem by punishing some of the offenders.
Looking at statistics, it is estimated that less than one half of all sexual rapes are reported and only a fraction of those result in the punishment of the perpetrator. Many rapes are not reported for fear of judgement and there is an endemic undercurrent within civilisation that even though a man may be the rapist, it's most often the woman's fault.
When we consider this problem, it has become endemic within human culture so much so that the cause of the problem is no longer seen and like most disease, the only solution appears to be to Band-Aid the wound or take a painkiller and carry on.
The people who run the world are not interested in fixing this problem, they may pass some slightly tougher laws, but very little changes because the root of the problem is not being addressed. This puts the ball back into your court, are you part of the problem or part of the solution?
If you happen to be a rapist, that is a symptom of your own suffering. The cure lies not in any medication or even time in jail for that matter. The cure lies in becoming a responsible human being.
Becoming a responsible human takes a deal of courage, it requires that one stops to consider life within the context of what we know of human history and what it means to be human. One needs to realise that we are here in a state of coexistence and interdependence, not a state of co-dependence.
If you happen to be a victim of rape, you also need to realise is that the actions against you are not necessarily against you because rapists are acting out their own fantasies and you simply happen to be a convenient receptacle. I say receptacle because you do not have to be a victim.
To be a victim is to completely surrender your power, but it takes a great deal of courage to retain your sense of self, to be able to interpret the situation and act accordingly. You may not be able to prevent the rate from taking place, but you may be able to turn the event in your favour so that at least you come away with your self intact.
Societal double standards
I was in my teens when I went to a party, one of those affairs where there were more boys than girls. The guys about my age and we drank, danced and sat about but I got bored. I wanted something to happen, so I became more flirtatious in the hope of getting off with one guy, but he went shy on me and I was annoyed. Later on some older boys arrived and someone suggested we play spin the bottle.
Me and another girl were up for it, so it was me and her with five guys. We started with the looser having to drink a shot of bourbon. One guy lost three times and soon I lost a couple of times and my head was spinning. Then it was a piece of clothing off instead of drinking and before long we were all naked and the guys hitting on us which was kinda fun but then they grabbed us, held us down and I had three trying to get it on with me. I wanted to leave, but there was no way out, so I insisted they use condoms. Thankfully they had condoms and lube, initially I gritted my teeth as the first forced himself into me, but then I almost laughed cos his cock was quite small. I started to fuck back and he soon come. The other two were similar and I never got to orgasm. My gf had a similar experience and when the guys were too drunk and spent to bother us any more, we found our clothes and escaped. As we walked home we joked about the idea of being raped and all the stories we'd heard. It was supposed to a nightmarish trauma that crippled you for life, but we were more disappointed that the guys couldn't satisfy us.
I got raped again a few years later and it was not nice. I was escorting then and a client tied me up so I couldn't move. Several big guys fucked me repeatedly for several hours. I wasn't broken although it sometimes felt like it was their intent. My girlfriends and I agreed that it was grist for the mill and there was no point being upset by it. We understood life was tough, but so are our bodies. I was fortunate in tat I'd had a good sex education and a lifestyle leaning towards Buddhism and compassion came easy.
I knew those guys had been treated roughly, possibly been raped themselves; like most think it only happens to girls, but I've heard so many stories about how a woman's tongue has cut men to shreds and the abusiveness of women. A girlfriend told me how a guy grabbed her one dark night and demanded sex or he'd cut her throat. She asked him if he wanted it there or somewhere more comfortable. She said it partly deflated him and by the time they'd found a suitable spot, he'd almost normalised. She had sex with him and was grateful. Life is a risk.
I think the only way to stop the cycle of violence is through education. I think everyone needs to be taught in detail how their body works, how to have sex and how to have relationships and be nice to each other.
In today's world as much as in the old world, parents for whatever reason are unable to give the children proper sex instruction. Many schools are doing a lot more, but still that's not enough. Children need to be taught the difference between love and lust, and they have to be shown how to relieve that last as well is the stress of life.
That's a very idealistic statement, but I think that as long as politicians behave so badly toward each other, they continue to set a bad example of how everyone else should behave. As children look up to their parents initially, most adults look to the leaders for social cues in order to set their behaviour.
All the war and suffering in the world is caused by delusions. It can all be corrected with proper education and lots of sex, this is more important than ever and what's more, we have the technology to do it safely.
I'm not a prophet, but I know if we did things right, we find heaven right here on earth and the afterlife can remain a mystery.
If you have given explicit consent, you’re not being raped. The moment you revoke consent and they force you to continue, from that moment on it is rape.
Husbands may sometimes force their wives to have sex even when she doesn't want to. This is a type of rape that most women put up with because it seems to be part of the marriage package. Men also rape each other which is a notorious activity amongst prison populations. Fathers will rape their daughters, boys will rape their sisters and groups of boys or young men will rape girls in the game of taharrush.
But it's not just the men, women also rape men, children and each other although is not always called rape. Sex within family groups be at a mother with her sons or father his daughters can be consensual and that is called incest, but where the children are too young to know better then it remains rape.
It's clearly a problem within civilisation and it's not going to go away anytime soon especially with the spread of Islam and its justification of rape. Misogyny is widespread and sanctioned within Islam. It is now days very common for Mullah's to instruct men to rape non-Islamic women as well is making justification for Islamic men to rape their wives and daughters.
"If I am raped, people will say that she’s lost her honour. How did i lose my honour? Who put my honor in my vagina? It is a patriarchal idea that getting raped whould ruin my community’s honor. I would like to ask everyone right now why did you place the community’s honour in a woman’s vagina? I didn’t place my honor there. If anyone loses their honour when a woman is raped it is the rapist NOT the woman who is raped." ~ Kamla Bhasin
Rape is not always rape
It has become a common scenario in courtrooms around the world where women testify to being raped although what is more likely to have happened is that a male has committed some lesser offence like refusing her demands but she has cried rape. In another scene she has had sex with someone and believes that it is not her fault so she falsely accuses a convenient male. Unfortunately today's legal system while failing to protect women also fails to protect men from false claims.
A rape survival story
Sadhguru examines the nature and
reason that rape occurs
Citlali had spent the day visiting relatives, but there was also some growing unrest in the city. With her visiting over she boarded the last bus back to her village 10 miles away. She knew about the unrest in the city but it seemed reasonable to think that she would get home without any problem.
But as the bus approached the edge of the city, the roads were blocked by an angry crowd protesting a change in government policy which would see people forced off their land without compensation. The driver was afraid, he stopped the bus and told the passengers that he could not go on. The 20 or so passengers were in a dilemma, but Citlali was clearheaded and determined to go home.
She got off the bus with some of the passengers and walked through the crowd. She was sympathetic to their cause and wished that something can be done to help, but this was far beyond her power and understanding. Once she had passed through the crowd, she was disappointed not to find any transport and continued walking.
Resigned to a 4-5 hour walk home, Citlali walked at a comfortable pace. The only traffic on the road carried people toward the demonstration in the city and there were no vehicles going her way. As the dusk closed around her she began to feel more apprehensive that maybe she should have stayed with her relatives although that would have caused other problems.
Her shoes soon became uncomfortable, so she took them off, put them in her bag and walked barefoot. The dust of the road was soft, warm and almost reassuring. She brought about school, her intended career in IT and some of the boys who were interested in her.
As darkness gathered around her she was startled a few times by birds and once by a snake. She kept a sharp lookout and began to regret her folly. Across the fields she could see the lights of the village and entertained the possibility of going there to ask for help, but she did not know those people.
An hour passed and by this time Citlali was beginning to perspire. It had been a hot day the temperature was still well above 30°. The moon was rising and she passed a farmer crossing the road with his buffalo. He made a rude comment that she steadfastly ignored, but she realised that she wasn't dressed for the country.
Instead of a sari that most country women wore, she was wearing a blouse and a short skirt that was fine in the city, but country people tended to disapprove. 15 minutes later a young man riding a motorbike slowed down beside her and rudely demanded to know where she was going. She tried to ignore him, but he was insistent so after a few minutes she told him about the problem with the bus and asked if he had a phone.
He was sympathetic but had no phone and for a few minutes they had some amicable conversation. Then he asked if she would like a ride home which seemed almost too good to be true so Citlali said "if you are genuinely doing me some good, perhaps you can although I can only pay bus fare."
She couldn't see his face even though the moon was beginning to rise, but she could see enough to make out the features of him and his bike but she more felt his eyes trying to undress her. Moments later he said "you are pretty, let's have sex and then I take you home for no charge."
Citlali knew all about men or so she thought. She'd had sex a few times out of curiosity and in defiance of her mother who said that she must be a virgin to marry. Citlali was very different to her mother and she knew enough of life and history to think that she may prefer life as an independent woman rather than endure marriage and bringing children into this overpopulated world.
So she gave the young man such a lashing with her tongue that he quickly rode away. She felt relieved when the silence of the countryside returned and 10 minutes later a motorcycle going the other direction when by. Citlali couldn't see the rider beyond the glare of the headlight but she sensed it was a different person with a passenger.
After it went by, Citlali heard the motorbike break and a moment later its light illuminated the road ahead of her. As with the other man, after some mutual enquiry she was offered a ride but she was a little puzzled as there was only one man on the bike as she was sure that there had been two.
A few times she looked around but she couldn't see another person and then the man was telling her that she was pretty. Citlali had heard all of that before and she wasn't impressed, and despite his rudeness she managed to maintain an air of civility. She began to fear being raped and she knew that men were mostly governed by their hormones, so she was feeling very anxious although she tried not to let it show.
Then the guy stalled his motorbike and Citlali walked on while he struggled to restart it. Behind her she clearly heard voices and she began to think about what she might do if they tried to rape her. Everything she knew about sex flashed through her mind and then she remembered that horrible rape in Delhi where the girl was killed.
She began praying to Kali for protection and she knew that she had to remain responsible. Citlali saw men and as the victims of their hormones and she thought that perhaps they killed their victims to try and avoid criminal repercussions. She looked back, the men and motorbike were 300 yards behind her. Nearby were some shrubs, she needed to pee and took the opportunity of the limited shelter.
As she was straightening her clothes, Citlali looked back and saw that another motorcycle had arrived and she thought she saw four men. She expected that this would be rudeness multiplied if they came after her and she understood that she was in real danger. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide so she decided that if this was to be her fate then she would do her best to be respond for her own survival.
She kept Kali in mind and when she heard two motorbike engines come to life in the distance behind her, she paused, took off her underwear and secured her possessions in her bag. Her logic told her that she was crazy and making herself an easy target, but some stronger force from the nature she understood as Kali Ma was telling her a different story.
She kept to the edge of the road and a moment later a motorbike slowed beside her, she glanced sufficient to see two men. They told her she was pretty and then the guy riding pillian reached out and tried to pull down her skirt. It was securely fastened, but Citlali stumbled slightly against him and almost being thrown off balance, the driver pulled away and as he circled for another attempt the other bike took its place.
The two men had been watching with amusement and again Citlali was in the beam of a headlight. Both men were more direct in asking for sex. Citlali asserted that she was saving herself for marriage and that they should not be so rude. Then a shadow on the ground beside hers gave her a moment's warning before a man's hands grabbed her from behind.
Citlali knew there was no way she could fight off four men, but as she pushed a hand from her right tit, another found her left. Then the four men were standing around her tugging at her clothes and trying to put their hands inside.
With an explosive burst of energy she pushed them all away, dropped her bag on the ground and facing them said "I hope you realise that you are all very bad men, but in some ways bad men can be good fun if they really know how to give a girl what she wants."
They all talked and tried to touch at once, but Citlali with an air of indifference brushed away their hands a few times and again commanded their attention saying "now boys, I expect you haven't really seen breasts since you sucked on your mother's and perhaps you even fantasise about breasts when you milk the cow. But would you like to see my breasts?"
Thrown off guard, they all said yes and asked her to take off her top. Citlali remembered some sexy scenes that she'd seen in a movie as she rather seductively removed her top. The men were complimentary and tried to touch, but she kept her head and her sense of authority as she let each of them in turn fondle her breasts.
That kept them entertained for all of the five minutes and as they became more insistent about her taking of her skirt, she asked to see what they had. She said "okay boys, I've shown you my tits and you're still asking for more? If I'm going to show you anymore and maybe even have sex with you, you've got to prove to me that you have got the equipment and know how to use it. The worst thing you can ever do to any woman is to get her interested and then not be able to perform. So take off your clothes voice and show me what you have got."
Citlali guessed they were all aged between 18 and 30 and she watched with some amusement as they stripped down to their underwear. As they put their clothes aside and stood to face her, she went by them one at a time examining their cocks with one hand and trying to contain their wandering hands with the other.
One of them had a nice thick hard cock and she was surprised by her own reaction, she felt a surge of warmth flood through her body and as she felt her skirt being pulled away, she regained her composure and said "well here we are boys, I've only got two holes for sex, so who's going to be first.
They hesitated and looked at each other, so Citlali turned to the guy nearest and slid his shorts down. She held his cock and said "you can be first honey, come with me." Citlali didn't want to lay down on the dirt so she led him a couple of paces, turned and lay face forwards over the saddle of the motorbike and commanded "now satisfy me!"
Citlali spread her legs to make it easy for both of them. He fumbled and she had to put her hand back and guide his insubstantial penis into her pussy. He was done in 30 seconds and his mates laughed before another stepped into his place. He was more confident and Citlali began to feel a sense of pleasure flowing through her body. Then the guy with the larger cock was presenting to her mouth. She'd never sucked on anyone's cock before. She was pleased he tasted clean and she was surprised that the activity was so pleasant.
She mostly ignored the hands squeezing her tits and exploring her body although with one she paused letting go of the cock, slapping a hand and commanding its owner to be more gentle. Citlali kept the men a little off balance as they had their turn fucking her and the cock in her mouth moved into her pussy. It felt so good and the guys actually believed they were having sex with a real porn star because Citlali put on a good performance.
Citlali was amused that they were so weak and gullible, but she was also acutely aware of her own prowess. When they'd all had their turn, they talked about keeping her somewhere and that was a nonsense she could not tolerate. She stepped up to the guy who seemed to be the leader and squeezed his balls as she said "listen guys, although this is not my normal behaviour, it has been fun but as I'm already late home, there may well be a search party out for me as my family know I am walking. Now if you want to keep this relationship friendly, one of you will take me home."
Three of the guys talked amongst themselves and since the other was still attentive to her, Citlali relaxed in his arms. She allowed him to take liberties, but she directed his efforts to give her maximum pleasure. She even contemplated that a life of a Courtesan may actually be very pleasant. But the guys couldn't decide whether or not to give her a ride home or to try and kidnap her.
In terms of sex, Citlali was mildly satisfied and then the conversation concluded in the boys said that they wanted sex again and then they would take her home. So another hour passed during which she had sex with all of them again and they tried out some different positions. The men were more relaxed and good-humoured and when they were done they dressed and rode away quickly leaving Citlali on the roadside.
She cleaned herself as best she could, dressed and continued walking. 40 minutes later she saw headlights coming toward her, it was her father and brothers. On the ride home she endured a long lecture from her father about being alone on the road at night and how lucky she was to be alive.
Citlali never told anyone what happened, but before she went to her bed she made her gratitude to Kal1 as she slept feeling glad that she was a woman.
Sphere of men