Reality Check

In search of happiness

We call ourselves human beings yet we seem to spend most of our lives doing stuff and then wondering why we're not happy. To a certain extent we are conned, someone has pulled the wool and we believe that worldly achievement will make us happy. Finding a perfect man to be your anchor or a perfect woman to ease your pains and have your children will make you happy.

All the worldly successes we have produce a temporary happiness and then it's back to the treadmill to earn more, the social meeting place to hook up or just someone's sorrows then wonder how the hell you ended up with a particular person next morning.

It seems to many that life is a game of chance and when it comes to the mating game, most people go looking for the ideals projected in the media. The man is looking for a Playboy model, the women looking for a guy with money and the good sense not to blow it or run off with the next girl who comes along.

We are of course part of society that pays more attention to the glitz and glamour, the lies and promises than the underlying reality. Girls looking for a man need to work out that he has the gift of the gab and the smart lifestyle is often doing it all on credit. Guys need to remember that those nice looking breasts may be fake and that nice hairless body will someday turn into Mrs gorilla.

Points to remember as you age:

Death is the number one killer in the world.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Good health is merely the lowest possible rate at which one can die.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teacher person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months or even years.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather, it pays no attention to criticism.
In the 1960s, people took acid to make the world we had. Now the world is weird so people take Prozac to make it seem somehow normal.
Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Beach language in the 1930s

It doesn't matter what the sea and waves are saying. Nobody is listening to them, the conversation along the shore is monopolised by the flappers, cake eaters and their clans who have moved as a body onto the beach.
The new beach slang replaces the flapper slang of the period and runs as follows:
Bell-buoy  - a guy who talks about nothing but himself.
Gangplank - a man who lets his family walk over him.
Sea serpent - a fascinating widow who charms eligible men.
A life-saving station - the speakeasy or bar.
Shark bait - was a cell in the bar.
Weak fish  - a flapper who falls for good looking gentleman.
Anchor - a rich fiance residing locally.
Swordfish - uninvited guys who always gatecrash into parties.
Oysters - young guys who are tight with their money.
Beachcomber - handsome cake eaters who pursue weak fish.
Barnacle - a handsome but financially dependent young man.
Send crab - a young woman with no interest in men.
IEel - a charmer whose grace is his fortune.
Flounder - if at flapper and a bathing suit.
Lifeguard - any unattached male with money.
High tide - the condition of being inebriated.
Undertow - bootleg gin.
Bluefish - a girl whose remittance has not arrived.
Eskimo - a guy who has to rent his apparel.
Smokestack - anyone who is overly fond of cigarettes.
Life preserver - a check from home.
Rudder - anyone who can steer you to and from a bar.
Foghorn - a chaperone.

Some things haven't changed very much and to be truly successful in this life, you really need to have a reality check from time to time and remember:

Genuine praise and gratitude smooth the wheels of life.


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