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Tales of Infidelity

Jokes about relationships and infidelity

Savings Plan

calttlA young couple decided that a painless way for them to be able to save money would be for the husband to put all his change into the bedside china piggy bank each time they had sex.

One night, while things were hot and heavy, the husband accidentally knocked the bank onto the floor where it smashed into pieces. Much to his surprise, among the masses of coins, there were also numerous five and ten dollar bills.

"Whats up with all these bills?" he asked his wife.

"Not everyone is cheap as you are!" she replied.

Fidelity Questioned

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend, however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst.. my wife came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said..... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'

Gift Idea

The rather large lady of the house loved cars and speed, so she asked her husband:

"Could you buy me something that goes from 0 to 100 in less than 4 seconds - preferably in light blue?"

With her birthday drawing near, her husband, as always, wanted to fulfil her wish so he bought her a light blue bathroom scale, the only thing he could afford which went from 0-100kg in under 4 secs.

He's now dead.

Statistics

Financial workers are more likely to cheat on their spouses. According to a survey from an infidelity dating site, Victoria Milan, brokers, bankers, and analysts are the top cheating professionals. The rest of the top 10 workers who are most likely to stray includes those who work in aviation, healthcare, sports, communications, and the arts

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