Sex Education

One of the many failures of modern civilisation

ncpleFor most of us, our parents lives were less than perfect. Like all children, at some point during those formative years, the opposite sex became attractive giving rise to sexual feelings without necessarily having any intellectual appreciation of what was happening.

The transition from childhood through adolescence can be a biochemical nightmare for a great many children. They have hormones flowing through their bodies and sometimes uncontrollable urges are so strong that they have to quickly find a private space to relieve themselves through masturbation or some other activity that relieves the pressure of that energy building up inside of them.

As our parents left us to navigate sexuality alone, most parents today also let their own children make their own way with minimal instruction. Since our parents often made a hash of their relationship and many of us today remain in a quandary, would life have been any better with a realistic sex education?

One of the first problems to arise is that of morality along with a host of 'do' or 'do not' things which confuse not only young minds, but all minds. As an adult person reading this, if you have not yet entered into a sexual relationship, you need to know that everything you feel is hormonal and natural whereas morality is not.

What we all need to understand is that we are one of so many species of mammals with the same biological drive to reproduce. The process is entirely biological but because we have a greater capacity than other mammals, we also have more choice about how we have sex and reproduce.

We need to understand that sex is primarily for reproduction, but we are engineered in such a way that the act of sex is very pleasurable, so much so that we have devoted a lot of time and energy into enabling ourselves to have sex simply for the pleasure of doing so.

We have the technology to physically have sex without the risk of pregnancy or the transmission of STDs. Yet our minds are so full of ideas and beliefs that have little to do with natural processes. Some people believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong whereas others think it is perfectly okay. Some people believe that one should only ever have one sexual partner, but others think more than one or even many is okay.

There is no right or wrong, there is a choice between
pleasure and pain. morality is a construct for social control.
In these pages there are no rules and many anecdotal stories
depicting how people have managed their life situations
from which you can extract ideas on how to respond to life.

The act of having sex has many aspects

  • It can be a simple form of communication sharing of pleasure between two people.
  • It can be a manifestation of the urge to procreate.
  • It can be for stress release.
  • It can be about submission or domination.

yeh-right_nMorality on the other hand involves ideas to do with the governance and administration of our society and civilisation. Making up rules about who can have sex with who, when and where helps to regulate society but regulation keeps certain people in power and certain people subjugated. Morality is not just, it is simply a convenience for many.

At a fundamental level, sex is amoral and in today's modern world most people have the freedom to decide for themselves. But note also, those who live by moral rules most often break them because they are unable to control their biology and that primal urge to mate. This breaking of the rules often results in unwanted pregnancies, the transmission of STDs and of course the very high divorce rates.

How we have sex in modern society with all its regulations and variations works to a point producing winners and losers, but living by moral rules results in a great deal of unhappiness. Those who are perhaps a little more aware have evolved relationships, but these are not always satisfactory.

Another aspect of human sexuality is that our world is grossly over populated. We are 7 billion people and increasing rapidly, therefore we have no need to reproduce as quickly. But unfortunately many people are so compelled that they cannot feel complete as a person until such time as they have reproduced.

The need for education

wedding4As I've described, we have a lot of room for improvement. In terms of education, children need to be taught the facts of life without any moral windowdressing. It's time we stopped some of the baby talk and the blatant lying that is often called education. Most of our history has recently been invented and is far from the truth.

It's time we taught our kids truth of life. For most people, sex is one of the most difficult things to talk about which is a reflection of how badly things have gone wrong and healthy confidence has been totally demolished.

Around the world on a daily basis, children are being raped and sold into sex slavery, millions of mostly women offer themselves as sex workers and even these are poorly educated and end up becoming victims.  Unless we educate our kids properly, they too will become victims of a form of ignorance that is perpetuated by ignorance, false beliefs and bigots.

For most people, the act of sexual intercourse is a private affair. Sometimes it goes well and generates a sense of pleasure and a temporary happiness. Sometimes it only goes well for for one person while the other is left wanting. But there are also many people who never get sex, they may get pregnant, but the guy may disappear and the girl has no idea of motherhood beyond a basic instinct.

Kids who are not educated about sex simply watch pornography and then act it out. Consequently they are having sexual experiences without intimacy.

Kids who are not educated about sex simply watch pornography and then act it out. Consequently they are having sexual experiences without intimacy.

Many kids today get their sex education through watching pornography over the Internet which generates false understanding because porn is simply an act in exchange for money. Kids need to see their parents being genuinely intimate, not necessarily having sex but conversing deeply and honestly as well as sharing affection.

In some societies prohibit any display of affection, but this can only harm the children because they grow up in limbo. They must be taught how to relate and there are many pundits who advocate educational classes where young adults get to practice having sex.

By teaching our children the truth of the world, by being completely honest about relationships and exposing them to healthy sexual practices, surely they will develop more balanced life and create more satisfying relationships?

The responsibility for educating children falls with the parents and close family friends. Educating kids about sex does not mean that parents should have sex with their children because that's against the law in most countries. But we can be sure that hell is more likely to freeze over before any government or even social institution is going to deliver a balanced education.

One of the great obstacles is the sexualisation of society that most kids swallow hook line and sinker. From a very young age they become to accept gender stereotypes and other social constructs which are purely abstract. But there is no solution to that other than a complete transformation of civilisation. However the only attempt to transform civilisation is through corporatisation and the spread of religions which when combined are simply making matters worse.

What young women believe about their own sexual pleasure video with Peggy Orenstein

Why do girls feel empowered to engage in sexual activity but not to enjoy it? For three years, author Peggy Orenstein interviewed girls ages 15 to 20 about their attitudes toward and experiences of sex. She discusses the pleasure that's largely missing from their sexual encounters and calls on us to close the "orgasm gap" by talking candidly with our girls from an early age about sex, bodies, pleasure and intimacy. Play the video.

Things that should to be taught in sex ed

  • non-abstinence based education,
  • sex is fun let’s make it safe
  • masturbation is safe and okay
  • wet dreams do not just happen to males
  • consent and rape prevention on the part of both sexes
  • safe sex, sexual anatomy and orgasms, periods, (body hair exists) different types of discharge
  • how to relate and enjoy sex
  • how not to make it hurt the first time/teaching that it does not have to
  • porn is misleading
  • the difference between gender and sex
  • sexual chemistry and the love myths

Read more.


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