Reward for service or escapism
Sometimes we wish life could be more heavenly. but what is heaven and where do we find it? Across the Middle East during a time of growing desertification, Heaven was most often described as an idyllic paradise with lush gardens, an abundance of food and no responsibility, all one’s needs are taken care of.
If we look at the temple Art from north-west India across North Africa, it depicts this idyllic heaven as something akin to the mythical hanging Gardens of Babylon. So perhaps we can say that this was in response to harsh living conditions and indeed those with means either created their own miniature paradise or spread and conquered other lands.
Continue reading Seeking Heaven – Seeking Pleasure
A Reward for service or Eternal Punishment
In the Christian and Islamic traditions, the idea of heaven is like the carrot tied to a stick held in front of a horse – no matter how hard or fast the horse walks, it can never reach the carrot. Conversely, the idea of hell is the stick or incentive to make you carry on.
Sometimes we wish life could be more heavenly.. or just a little easier, but what is heaven and where do we find it? Heaven is often described as an idyllic paradise where not only are all our needs met, all our desires are fulfilled and existence is an unending pleasure. But, it’s only reached after we die as
Continue reading Heaven and Hell
Take a 10-40 minute walk every day and while you walk, smile.
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
Sleep for 7 hours
Live with the 3 E’s : Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
Play more games.
Read more books than you did last year.
Drink plenty of water.
Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured.
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.
Make time to practice meditation, it provides us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
Dream more while you are awake.
Smile and laugh more.
Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.
Continue reading How to Improve Your Life
I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven’s door, Not by the beauty of it all, Nor the lights or its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven Who made me sputter and gasp– The thieves, the liars, the sinners, The alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade Who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbour Who never said anything nice
Herb, who I always thought Was rotting away in hell, Was sitting pretty on cloud nine, Looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal? I would love to hear Your take. How’d all these sinners get up here? God must’ve made a mistake.
‘And why is
Continue reading Judge not
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St. Peter asked.
‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered.
‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.
So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, ‘Now, back off!! Or I’ll kick the shit out of all of you!’
St. Peter was impressed, ‘When did this happen?’
Continue reading St Peter & The Cowboy
A Sunday school teacher was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question: “When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?”
Little Kelli raised her hand and said: “I think it’s your hands!”
“Why do you think it’s your hands, Kelli?”
Kelli replied: “Because when we pray, we hold our hands together in front of us so God must take our hands first.” “What a wonderful answer!” said the teacher.
Then little Jennifer raised her hand and said: “I think it’s your legs, miss!”
The teacher looked at her with a puzzled expression and asked: “Now, Jennifer, why on earth do you think it would be your legs?”
Jennifer replied: “Well,
Continue reading Sunday School
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple are involved in a fatal car accident. They find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they ask him.
St. Peter says, ‘I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked that. Let me go and find out,’ and he leaves.
The couple sits, and waits, and waits. Two months pass and the couple are still waiting. As they wait, they discuss that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.
Continue reading Getting Married in Heaven
The day finally arrived that Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, ‘Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.’
Forrest responds, ‘It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain’t too hard.
Continue reading Forrest Gump goes to Heaven
God gave us 2 legs to walk 2 hands to hold 2 ears to hear 2 eyes to see but why did he only give you one heart? because he gave the other 1 to someone for you to find.
3 Nuns 1
3 Nuns die and go straight to heaven. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates. He says,”Welcome, Sisters. Before entering Heaven, everyone must answer a question correctly, but since you served so faithfully, I’m sure you’ll have no problem.”
To the 1st Nun he says, “What is the 1st book of the Bible called?’
She says,”ooooh, that’s easy ~ Genesis.”
With that, bells starting ringing, music started playing, and the pearly gates opened to allow her
Continue reading 2 x 2
When Tony, died he was sent to be judged and was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away.
He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could get into heaven would be to sleep with a 500 pound, stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it.
Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven. So off he went with this enormous woman, pretending to be happy. As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up ahead. Carlos was with an even bigger, uglier woman
Continue reading Tax Cheats