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How to Save The World?

Read the World Change Proposal

Confucius did not say!

Humour

Confucian jokes with puns and risqué double-meanings have been fictitiously attributed to Confucius, the famous Chinese philosopher who lived around 500 BC. His name is used to lend credence to a branch of philosophy as the sayings of a wise man but people like to joke around and these are a few that play on words…

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhaustedd.

Man who

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Tonto McTavish

Humour

Soon after a man boarded his flight and taken his seat, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman walking down the aisle. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston.”

He swallowed hard. Here was the sexiest looking woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she

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Free Sex

Humour – too good to be true

Two men drove to a different gas station to fill-up because they heard about a special contest where the reward was free sex being offered to patrons who purchased a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.

“If you win, you’re entitled to free sex,” said the attendant.

“How do we enter?” asked the first man.

“Well, I’m thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex.”

“O.K. I guess 7, ” said the first man.

“Sorry, I was thinking of 8,” replied the attendant. “Come back soon and try again”

The next week, the two men

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Rabbi & The Tax Man

Humour

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue.

While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, ‘I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?’

‘Good question,’ noted the Rabbi. ‘We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.’

‘Oh,’ replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: ‘What about all these bread-wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?’

‘Ah, yes,’ replied the Rabbi,

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Love de Irish

Humour

An Englishman was shot in the head with a starting pistol; police said it was definitely race related.

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Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

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Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse’s outfit, a French maid’s outfit, and a policewoman’s uniform, he finally decided if she can’t hold down a job, she’s not for him.

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I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day, apparently

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