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Clinton Memoirs

And other books

The US senator from New York offers an thought-provoking, candid chronicle of her eight years as First Lady of the United States, looking back on her husband’s two administrations, the challenges she faced during the period, the impeachment crisis, her own political work, and more. She even has books for kids, click the link below to purchase.

Reviews:

“Hillary Clinton’s 506-page memoirs has come out. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern.” ~ Craig Kilborn

“In Hillary Clinton’s new book ‘Living History,’ Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life

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Confucius did not say!

Humour

Confucian jokes with puns and risqué double-meanings have been fictitiously attributed to Confucius, the famous Chinese philosopher who lived around 500 BC. His name is used to lend credence to a branch of philosophy as the sayings of a wise man but people like to joke around and these are a few that play on words…

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhaustedd.

Man who

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Tonto McTavish

Humour

Soon after a man boarded his flight and taken his seat, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman walking down the aisle. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston.”

He swallowed hard. Here was the sexiest looking woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she

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Unhappy Vacationers

Actual complaints to a travel agency

The mosquito spreading zika virus

1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

3. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included

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Free Sex

Humour – too good to be true

Two men drove to a different gas station to fill-up because they heard about a special contest where the reward was free sex being offered to patrons who purchased a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.

“If you win, you’re entitled to free sex,” said the attendant.

“How do we enter?” asked the first man.

“Well, I’m thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex.”

“O.K. I guess 7, ” said the first man.

“Sorry, I was thinking of 8,” replied the attendant. “Come back soon and try again”

The next week, the two men

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Last words

Adult Humour

The Lollipop Salesman

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik and his security team came in.

“I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession.”

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. “I’m a cop”, says the first man. “Then we will shoot your penis off!”, said the sheik.

He then turned

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Rabbi & The Tax Man

Humour

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue.

While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, ‘I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?’

‘Good question,’ noted the Rabbi. ‘We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.’

‘Oh,’ replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: ‘What about all these bread-wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?’

‘Ah, yes,’ replied the Rabbi,

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Love de Irish

Humour

An Englishman was shot in the head with a starting pistol; police said it was definitely race related.

——–

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

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Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse’s outfit, a French maid’s outfit, and a policewoman’s uniform, he finally decided if she can’t hold down a job, she’s not for him.

————

I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day, apparently

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