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Blond Moments

Tales from real life

Hi, this is a bit embarrassing but I’ll tell you anyhow. Last week I arranged to get a ride to the mall with my brother who was going to pick me up at 1130 sharp. He’s really bossy but I had plenty of time or so I thought. I slept until nine, did a few chores in the buff and took a shower, then as I had time to spare I put on my favourite yoga tights and started working out.

Yoga is really gentle so I didn’t break a sweat and I was really getting into it when my brother arrived. Like he just pulled into the driveway, honked and called me to hurry

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In the rest room

I was barely sitting down when the person in the next stall said: “G’day. How’re you goin’?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the rest room; but I don’t know what got into me, and I answered, somewhat embarrassed: “Goin’ good!”

And the other person says: “So, what are ya up to?”

What kind of question is that?

At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say: “Uhhh, I’m like you, OK I suppose!”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. “Can I come over?”

O.K., this question is just too weird for me; but I figured I could just be

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Twin Story

There were these twins, Jim and John.

Jim was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John’s wife died the same day Jim’s boat sank.

A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Jim and mistaking him for John said “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible.”

Jim, thinking she was talking about his boat said, “Fact is I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in

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Scrotum

At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.

The pain was terrible and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every movement caused him terrible pain.

We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation,

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