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Prescribing Oral Sex

Jokes about oral sex and a guide on how to

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several weeks. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh.

The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction.

The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. Guessing that sexual arousal might stir her from her coma the Doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral

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Brian & Dave

Two guys, Brian and Dave, fancied a drink or two but didn’t have much money between them. They could only raise the staggering sum of two dollars.

Brian said “Hang on, I have an idea.” He went to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage.

Dave said “Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money left at all!”

Brian replied, “Don’t worry – just follow me.” They went into the nearest bar where Brian immediately ordered two beers and two whiskies.

Dave said “Now you’ve lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven’t got any money!!”

Brian replied, with a smile. “Don’t worry, I have a plan, Cheers!”

They downed

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Commissioned by God

After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss, ready to present his findings.

“Tell me St Peter, what have you found out?” God asked.

“I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. But the worst of it is this new obsession with oral sex. According to my survey, 88% of the population is doing it. Even four out of five dentists recommend it. I’m afraid it has reached epidemic proportions,” said St. Peter.

“Hmmm,” God said thoughtfully,” do you have any recommendations as to what should be done to put an end to this

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Neil Armstrong

When Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind statement but followed it by several remarks, usual between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck Mr. Gorsky”.

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the Good luck Mr. Gorsky statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

Four years ago, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter

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Blowjob

A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.

When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, “Sweetie, why don’t you give me a blowjob?”

“What? You’re crazy!” “Don’t worry, it will be quick, no problem.” “No!! Someone may see — a relative, a neighbour…” “At this time of the night? No one will show up…” “I’ve already said No, and NO!” “Honey, it’s just a small blowie…I know you’d like it, too…” “No! I’ve said NO!” “My love… Don’t be like that…”

At that moment, the girlfriend’s younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, “Dad says

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How to Give Head

A guide to giving him oral sex

Penises come in many shapes and sizes, so the idea is to experiment.

Oral sex is an activity to be indulged in by lovers and sex workers, so how do you go about sucking his cock? Do you want to? Of course if he indulges you with his mouth & tongue to help you to more wet & wanting.. or even an orgasm or… you must do the same for him.

The penis is a remarkable piece of anatomy, the tip that can look like Darth Vada’s helmet (star wars) is very, very sensitive, in fact as sensitive as your clitoris. So you do have to avoid using your teeth

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Days off in the city Pt 2

Continued from part one

Dinner with Mary and I get laid again

John and Mary came close to having a row, and 15 minutes later Mary and I went out to find something to eat. We went to a bistro a couple of miles from where she lived and the food was nice. As we ate she told me about her tragic marriage that was punctuated with just enough good moments to keep them together. As she spoke about John’s failings, I noticed some quite good-looking men in the bar and suggested that we get laid.

Despite the telling off from John, I hadn’t put my bra back on and a few

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Love and excitement P 15

An escort considers the meaning of life

Continued from Pt 14 – Part one.

As I neared 21, I felt the need for adventure, something more stimulating, more than sex and lonely men. I’d been making a few trips to Seattle and enjoyed the Black and Tan Club and other blues & jazz bars around town and I was now being sought after as a companion but in some ways I missed the sex. One night though, I’d been booked into Seattle and the client had cancelled. While I could have flown home that afternoon, I decided to stay and in the evening wandered through Belltown, first a light meal and then a few bars. Like most places it

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A Spa Evening

A suburban adult story

The winter night was cool and clear, not quiet cold enough for a frost. I was visiting my friends Patty and Alan. Over our after dinner drinks we discussed sex, more specifically about how Alan was practising withholding his ejaculation as prescribed by John Noyes. He’d been working at this for the past couple of months and said he was feeling more energised and clear in his thoughts and emotions. Patty said she enjoyed their longer lovemaking sessions then asked when was I going to find a new mate.

I had separated a few months earlier and was beginning to feel restless, but was in no hurry, but I hadn’t told them that I’d been getting

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