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The Origins of Marriage

How the institution came to be and what is best?

Published 29 Dec 2015 – updated Sept 12 2018

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In Europe before 1100 A.D. people wanting to join together for fun, to raise a family and what might be seen as marriage just got on with it. But with the growth of European civilisation there was a problem surrounding inheritance and being absolutely sure the ‘right’ child was being left the family fortune, because in those days the oldest child or the oldest boy child inherited the family assets.

To resolve this issue, the Catholic church came up with the idea of a church sanctified marriage which coincidently helped to fill their coffers. They also made

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Human Sexuality

A major confusion

Published on: 29 Dec 2015 updated August 20, 2018

There is about as much consensus in society about sexuality as there is about spirituality, and more sex happens in peoples minds than their genitals.

Confusion arises because those who assume moral leadership say one thing and do another. Couple this with the ongoing deconstruction of our societies by social and economic forces.

Sigmund Freud described sexuality as the driver of our psychology and a motivator for all our behaviour which remains relevant today.

But the primary drive to have sex comes from a base biological desire to pass on our genes and perpetuate our species. The desire to breed is an instinctive and powerful force

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A History of Sex

And the evolution of the human condition

For many people, sex is something of a mystery, an obsession, highly pleasurable but also highly regulated. Some say that sex is a part of our primal nature and akin to the essence of life itself in part because every second, millions of cells are being born within our bodies.

Sex is elemental to life without which we would not exist. We turn to sex in the desire to breed, sharing joys, relieving sorrows and despite all the different moral codes around the world, and all ways of relating over our history, sex is not well understood and often badly performed.

Sex is one of the most obvious features of our dualistic world

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Sex as a Career?

Women have been counselled to become sex workers

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The concept of a woman offering sex for money and other favours is generally thought of as the world’s oldest profession and as far as we know, there has never been a time in human history where this has not occurred.

Today in many countries despite the cries of some moralists, what many regard as prostitution has been legalised in many countries. Yet when we look at many marriages, they are often little more than agreements validating sex for money.

Yet moralists around the world even though they may be prostituting themselves condemn the activity of the women who make themselves available to men, but

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Male Continence

The importance of saving your sperm

John Humphrey Noyes came up with the idea of Male Continence back in the 1840’s as a means of preventing unwanted conception, without injury to either husband or wife and ended up with some 250 people living a communal lifestyle where all men and women of the community were married to each other which stirred up a lot of negative criticism at the time which one would expect as the US is a fairly puritanical country.

However he had a great many enquiries from intelligent men and women in ordinary married life seeking information about Male Continence after seeing and suffering the miseries of involuntary propagation which at the time was remarkable for its

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Sex Talk

A conversation recorded

My sister Ciara and her friend Sandy were a little bored as they sat watching the rain running down the windows. I’d just stacked fire and I think they’d forgotten I was still there doing some homework, but it was hard not to hear what they were saying and this is some of their conversation.

Sandy: what is it about men Ciara? You know I quite like Alfie, in many ways he’s really nice and I feel strongly attracted to him but he’s really useless at sex.

Ciara: unfortunately I kinda know what you mean because most of the boys I’ve been with just please themselves and sometimes I just can’t be bothered having sex because I’m

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Taharrush

A rape game

You may have heard brief mention of this on your local TV news and quickly shut out from your mind. This is a game played by poorly educated young men, they typically gang up on a girl and if they consider they can get away with it, they will sexually molest, tear her clothes off and sometimes rape her.

The current story in the media is that this game is Islamic, but it’s not. It happens all around the world where children are not properly educated and socialised. In the West where kids fear getting into trouble, they seldom go beyond aggravated flirting and touching.

Yet it’s quite common in the world of sport to hear of

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When “No” Means “Yes”

The most infamous contradiction

We live in an age of confusion where very few people know their own minds or even have control over their desires. The majority are locked into compulsive behaviours and unable to be truly responsible.

All human beings have an underlying desire to perpetuate our species through the passing on of genetic material. We have evolved the system of marriage as a way to do that which ensures that children have some stability in their lives and every young man and young women has an inherent desire for intimate connection with another human being.

Unfortunately human desires and human sexuality have been been hijacked by capitalism into a great deal of confusion in the population.

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The Healing Power of Orgasm

Fact or fiction?

There is no general consensus as to the reason we orgasm or any agreement as to what it actually does. We know that it floods the body with some feelgood chemicals and that it’s a deeper sexual experience which helps to facilitate social bonds.

There is some debate as to whether or not the male ejaculation counts as an orgasm or if it is simply a release mechanism for accumulated stress, but there is no doubt that orgasms are very important for women, so much so that in the 1700s and 1800s, masturbation became a commonly used treatment for what men called women’s hysteria.

There is no doubt that life can be very frustrating and good sex

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Massage Power

An old remedy for modern times

There is no doubt that massage is perhaps the oldest healing art because we have known for many centuries that just a little rubbing ouch go away. But it’s not just humans, most animals enjoy being stroked and rubbed, primarily because it makes them feel good.

In today’s modern world what we feel is shaped by external forces, and much money we have, how good we look and who our friends are. In the old world he felt good because you were powered the right food, from keeping enjoyable company and living a life that had some sense of purpose.

In this age of individualism, relationships tend to be superficial and our happiness is

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