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Tales of infidelity

The experience and feedback

sweet1Hi there, I won't tell you my name but I've been married for five years and having decided to put off having kids until after I turned 30 we'd both been working hard to build our dream home. We hadn't gone too far overboard in terms of debt but I'm sure this is one of the major factors that's been causing strife in our relationship.

In those first few years of courtship and marriage we both had good paying jobs and a great deal of confidence, so we had sex often and everywhere, but it seemed like that was all too good to last because of been reduced to a part-time job and although Simon is still working same number of hours, he has taken a pay cut which means we can't afford some of the luxuries we'd become accustomed to, but on top of all that the frequency and quality of sex has also diminished.

A few months back Simon got a nice bonus which improved things for a few weeks but now it seems like we are just an old married couple infrequently having sex which is sometimes not worth the trouble. I put up with this for a month and I figured that because good sex was one of the reasons we married, you might understand that I was feeling shortchanged.

I was accustomed to guys hitting on me since I'd been a kid and a few weeks back I finally said yes and it was really wonderful. It was almost like dating all over again but it was an effort to restrain myself and now after having sex with six men of whom one turned out to be useless I'm really questioning whether I should continue to be unfaithful or trying to myself back into a model wife. What do you think I should do?

There will probably come a time when you have to tell Simon and as far as church and state are concerned, infidelity is an offence. But the thing is that human nature cannot be controlled by church and state and you really have to decide what is right for you. But from all the research, it seems that that if you restrain yourself and live a miserable life you are more likely to become sick and die young whereas if you're not careful, there's always the risk of disease, pregnancy and rough treatment by your spouse and friends should you be found out. There is nothing wrong with what you doing from a human standpoint, but it would work better if you can include your husband and people that matter.

Hi Diana, thanks for the opportunity to share my story. I've been married less than a year and discovered that my beautiful young wife has been cheating on me. From the beginning three years ago we were really hot for each other and seemed to fit together really well and as everything was so sweet we got married eight months back after which time her sexual interest seemed to cool off.

To start with I thought it was something wrong with me yet the quality of our sex was as good as always, this just that there was less of it. I tried talking about it but she seemed to think there was nothing wrong and suggested that most people had less sex after marriage as well as the fact that we both worked shifts which meant our biological clocks were a little out of sync with each other.

I talked to my friends about this and he suggested that I start sleeping around and then for some reason he gave me one of those dashboard cameras with a long recording time and suggested that I make sure she is not entertaining other guys. So the next morning I left the camera turned on in the bedroom when I went to work and she was still asleep. That evening when I got home and she was still at work, I checked to see if there was anything on the camera and there was. Soon after I'd left, she got out of bed, tarted herself up and a few minutes later she led this guy into the picture.

I couldn't believe that she was cheating on me and while I knew she'd been very promiscuous before I came onto the scene, I thought she had done with all of that but clearly she hadn't. So for the past few days I've been thinking about what I should do. I've got film of her with three different guys having some interesting looking sex which is grounds enough for divorce and is making me question the whole idea of marriage. I'm also missing out sexually and wondering if I should do what she is doing or if I should confront her and risk having to transform my lifestyle?

She probably knows that you will find out sooner or later and since she has inviting men into your bed, she is not even trying hard to keep her activities a secret. You have the choice to let it go on which means you will become sick at heart, or you can confront her and try to work out your differences or come to some kind of arrangement where you at least give her permission in exchange for you doing similar if you feel so inclined. I'm guessing that like most young couples marriage is also an economic necessity to live comfortably in the society, so finding an amicable arrangement is important.

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