The Art of Kissing

A process of deepening intimacy

A kiss is the act of pressing of one's lips against another person or an object most often as a demonstration of acceptance and appreciation or affection, or as a greeting and an act of friendship. Yet the act of kissing varies across different cultures with many different uses and meanings.

While kisses are most often used to express sentiments of love, lust and passion, kisses facilitate deeper intimacy and sexual activity. But in other situations, a kiss is a ritual, formal or symbolic gesture indicating devotion, respect, or sacrament.

The English word kiss came from Old English cyssan (“to kiss”), in turn from coss (“a kiss”). It is widely thought that kissing is an instinctual and intuitive behaviour that smooths  or harmonises human relationships or in the biblical story of Judas, a deception.

Yet kissing on the lips opens the door to greater intimacy because our lips and mouths are loaded with sense receptors.

As with all our senses, we can create pleasure or pain but kissing is all about pleasure and human connection. So while a kiss can convey any human emotion, intimate kissing from the sharing of affection to expressing a desire for deeper intimacy is a tactile game that we play.

Yet not everyone knows how to kiss. As with everything else in life kissing for many is a learned art form although some people are naturally gifted. Again this is affected by the vagaries of our different cultures. In some cultures, kissing like any other display of affection is banished to the bedroom and often plays in an consequential role in life.

But an open society is, kissing and displaying affection in public is natural and normal, and here the out of kissing has properly involved yet it is also open the door to greater sexual intimacy as part of a greater search for pleasure and meaning in life.

Mechanics and health 

Kissing is a complex behaviour requiring the coordination of over 140 muscles and in general, kissing reduces stress, increasing relationship satisfaction, and even lowering cholesterol levels. The pleasure of kissing comes about because the adrenal glands secrete epinephrine and norepinephrine (adrenaline and noradrenaline) into the blood stream making the heart pump faster. In fact it's even claimed that passionate kissing burns 2–3 calories per minute.

Your lips contain 100 times more nerve endings than your fingertips and they all have the potential to cause pleasure which leads to the stimulation of desire and that's s why smooching before, during, and after sex is so satisfying.  There is absolutely no doubt that kissing is a valid and meaningful human activity where the individuals are conscious about what they are doing, kissing can be developed into a highly refined art, but on the downside is that kissing can also be used to mislead and corrupt as well as any other lie.

Esoteric kissing

In  the Kama Sutra it's said that a woman’s mouth perfectly mirrors her genitalia; i.e., the lips resemble the labia, the Cupid’s bow resemble the clitoris and the hard palate just above the front teeth resemble the G-spot. When a male slowly caresses his female lover’s mouth with deep, passionate kisses, not only will he be well rewarded with increased arousal but he may actually awaken her full orgasmic potential.


Advance preparation for kissing is not always be practical  so good general hygiene is important, but maintaining excellent oral hygiene is vital because kissing combines taste, touch and smell with each sense capable of eliciting strong, sexual responses from your partner.  So brush your teeth, floss, use a scraper to clean your tongue and keep your breath fresh. Halitosis is not endearing.

Physical and mental well being is vital, this means that your physical, spiritual and emotional states must be balanced, and you must be in tune with your heart and emotions. This requires preparation and a healthy lifestyle and real self knowledge.  Physical exercise and meditation here are key and if you're not balanced, your prospective partner may be able to sense any imbalance or neediness in you meaning that an intimate association may not unfold.

Getting it on

Just as sufficient foreplay is needed to increase arousal and achieve orgasm during penetrative sex; the same rule also applies to kissing. While sometimes kissing can be a mutual expression, often you have to have some mastery of conversation to help the other feel at ease and receptive.  The worst kissing mistake a anyone can make is overpowering your partner early on by diving straight into deep-mouth kissing. Most prefer to build up to that and build in intensity as things progress.

While kissing deepens intimacy, it is one's perception or intuition from where one gets insight into how to proceed. While kissing maybe deep and wonderful, a sense of hesitation in one's partner is an indication that perhaps more conversation is needed to set their mind at rest regarding whatever is troubling them. But other times one's partner may want to jump into deeper pleasure and lose themselves amongst any avenues of physical pleasure be a more prolonged and deeper kissing, turning up desire and indulging in sexual activity.

There are no hard and fast rules, however kindness and compassion must also play a role so that mental clarity is maintained and this helps to avoid unpleasant emotional entanglements.


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