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What About Virginity?

A misunderstood aspect of our humanity

sweettReligious morality dictates that young men and women should abstain from sexual contact until after they are married, and this is an issue going way back in history because the husband always wanted to know that only he was the father of of any children produced.

But the idea of virginity has changed over the centuries. If we go back before the time of Jesus, then a virginal woman was any free and independent woman who did not rely on a man for his support. In that sense virgins in olden times could have been courtesans or sex workers.

One thing is absolutely certain is that our desire to reproduce and our desire for sexual intimacy are two of the most powerful forces that affect our lives.  Outside of modern morality, this was recognised in many cultures and as a consequence, young men and women were free to have as many sexual liaisons as they wanted knowing that should they get pregnant, they would be responsible.

Let's look at some of the facts of life

  • The meaning of the word virgin has changed over time
  • In some cultures, children as young as eight or nine can be married.
  • As the world is awash in pornography and children are naturally curious, many of them begin to experiment and establish their sexual identity.
  • The original meaning of the word virgin contradicts the original meaning of the word as it was 2000 years ago.
  • Sexual pleasure in humanist terms is a natural and normal pastime.
  • The ideas about sin and morality do not have any basis in truth.
  • Soldiers of invading armies rape young girls.
  • Young girls are often kidnapped and sold into the sex trade.

Within patriarchal society, men want to rule, they want to possess woman and ensure that no other man touches her. Traditionally most men expect that the women they marry will have her first sexual experience with him, but in this male dominated society every man believes he should have as much sexual experience as possible before marriage.

This unfairness cannot be justified, it's just blatantly unfair.  

The big fumble

It could be argued that the majority of people having sex for the first time suffer a great deal of nervous anxiety and very often the act of making love turns into a complete disaster due to their ignorance.

In recognition of this problem, books like the Kama Sutra and sex guides for newlyweds have appeared around the world which no doubt helped many young couples.

But some people say we should go further and make the act of having sex part of a school curriculum? This idea is not so far-fetched as it would further our ease of discussing sex and normalise it because generations of ignorance have made sex something perverted and as a result of that perversion, we have a massive porn industry that further confuses the minds of most people.

For boys to have sex before marriage is not only acceptable, but expected. But girls who do are victimised and called sluts or whores because they claim control over their own bodies.

The idea of virginity has outlived its usefulness

Everyone has their own opinion about human sexuality and as with other ideologies about how we should arrange our lives and social structures, those opinions are generally based on a personal need for survival.

However our civilisation is evolving and girls who have been rightly annoyed that boys have been encouraged to have as much sex as they can before marriage should be allowed the same privilege.

We have at our disposal everything necessary to prevent transmission of disease and pregnancy, therefore that old idea about women remaining chaste until after marriage is irrelevant. If we are to create a healthier, more equitable and happier world then as a civilisation we need to get past all our sexual hangups and perversions.

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2 comments to What About Virginity?

  • Abby

    Hello, I must agree with most of what you say and this whole issue of female sexuality is so distorted because boys are expected to go out and have sex to achieve some sort of sexual competency before they get married which means that there always has to be a class of women to meet that need and avoid the big fumble as you put it so nicely.

    It’s so easy just to go along with life as it’s presented, but this is a significant social issue, especially as so many girls are forced into sex at an increasingly young age although I guess it’s been going on for centuries.

    • Dianna Dianna

      The majority don’t want to admit that our world is pretty screwed up and everyone is different. You might like to read this post and note that in most pagan societies, sex was simply there to be enjoyed and virgin tea only became an issue within modern moralistic cultures

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