Who Should you Love?

Navigating life, love and marriage


These days many of us grow up with the idea that we will fall in love and live happily ever after, but if we have any awareness of the world, this idea seems increasingly fragile and even improbable. When growing up, most of our parents argued and if you are a parent, it's likely that you also argue with your partner in front of your children which creates anxiety in children.

One of the problems not only with the idea of modern love but the very foundation of civilisation is based on ideas, not facts. Our history is incredibly brutal and corrupt. It doesn't matter what country you live in, your political system and your economic system is based on countless generations of fraud.

Love is also a fraud in many ways because most of us are raised with unrealistic expectations and false knowledge. The primary example is that you will grow up, fall in love and live happily ever after. But this is a fairytale in the very idea of falling in love is fraught with danger.

Like so many other things in this world that were once free, love has become a commodity to be bought and sold or traded for some indefinable return. Another misfortune of modern society is that a single person has a very hard time living the entirety of his or her life as a single person because there is a strong social pressure to conform by marrying.

What is love?

Love is simply a sweet emotive state of acceptance and the inclusiveness of all life. A genuine state of love has absolutely no need of anyone else or anything external to the individual. The love between girl and boy, men and women is most often a state of codependence, each has something the other wants and the love declaration is a way of attaining favour from another.

Love in its superficial form is made-up of expectations that take the shape of needs, and gradually they become demands. Love in its true form is made-up of acceptance, while being in constant awareness of the 'one', yet remaining detached. The former nature of love remains only to the sensual surface, resulting in pain & suffering; while the later nature of love reaches deeper, touching the chords of heart, resulting in joy, often inexplicable. At the same time, true love always awaits a sincere seeker and works miracles even at the most unfathomable distances.

The attraction between people is purely chemical, nature wants us to reproduce and perpetuate our species. So when we feel attracted and loving towards someone else, that is simply our body chemistry at work.

For many people the chemistry is strong and covered with the promise of pleasure, sexual relationships often blossom. At some point, the individuals concerned feel that there is such a degree of pleasantness within the relationship that they can live together so they get married and will often have children.

For people who are in control of their own lives, they can form a relationship with anyone although there is usually some difference to appearance and social values. But for people who are not in control of their own lives and unfortunately today, that's most people, the game of love and marriage will be more like a lottery. They may succeed or they may fail, but they are not entirely in control.

A little story

Sarah was a pleasant young woman, she was enjoying the afternoon sun as she sat in the park and she was dreaming of Mr Wright. A man came along and sat near to her and in her eyes he seemed pleasant enough so she returned his conversation. Their conversation was pleasant and as the sun began to lower in the sky some chemistry began to happen, he said that he loved her and they retreated into the bushes. After the sex she felt secure that she had found the man of her dreams, but he looked at his watch and said that he had to go. Sarah was perturbed, she was already developing a roadmap for their lives and asked what he had to go. He said it was getting late and his wife was expecting him home. The I love you was simply a catchphrase that almost everyone falls for eventually.

True love is when you know who you are as a human being and you have really become the master or mistress of your own mind and emotions. In effect this is a state of self-realisation that is talked about by wise men and women of times past as well as a few modern heroes like Sadhguru who speaks in the video above.

Unfortunately in our society, the word love has come to mean I want to have sex with you or I want something from you and I must have that in order for me to be happy. This is the real tragedy of modern love. This is the codependent relationship that locks both people into a cycle of suffering that is most often only broken by separation.

Another type of love is the love jihad against non Muslims where Muslim men will befriend non-Muslim girls. The Muslim men will patiently repeat the lie I love you until eventually the girl becomes their lover. If the Muslim and genuinely likes the girl, she will convert to Islam and they may marry or she may integrate into the Muslim community. But should he dislike or tire of her, he may simply give her to his friends so that they can rate or even kill her.

Please understand that sex is not love, sex is a physiological activity that generally results in pleasure. You don't have to to be in love to have sex and having sex is not going to make you fall in love though sometimes it can help to cement a partnership. Within marriage, sex is a very pleasurable activity and it does not have to result in children.

How do you achieve a satisfactory love life?

Love is not something that you can have or possess, love is an achievement and a state of being. The idea is to become a loving and responsible human being, and this can only be achieved by following the path towards enlightenment. It cannot be achieved by simply being nice and politically correct.

Bare in mind that when it comes to love and human relationships, as children we are largely uneducated and are expected to follow in our parent's footsteps when they quite often made a complete hash of it. Therefore as individuals we all need to find that path that results in the revelation of how true nature as intelligent human beings.

Therefore we must exercise our intelligence, tune into the nature of our environment and do some examination of history in order to learn some of the truths that reside there. Where we look at love, relationships and the institution of marriage, it seems like a minefield and a simple way out is simply to fall in love and then depending on the forces around you, you may be successful you may be not.

But also consider the option of arranged marriages. This idea is endemic to several cultures around the world and in the light of modern statistical analysis, arranged marriages are more successful than the self-created marriages that are prevalent in Western culture.

The Guaranteed Love Affair

Of the greatest significance is the Hindu arranged marriage. This was in fact a form of breeding to improve the genetic health of the population as well as a way of ensuring a happy life time for the couples getting married. With the Hindu marriage, the ancestry of the men and women would be analysed as would be their horoscopes to ensure that they are both genetically and intellectually compatible.

Hinduism is a tradition without beliefs yet it encourages self-exploration and it has a long tradition whereby perhaps millions of people have become fully realised human beings who are consciously loving.

By becoming consciously loving, you as an individual have control over your mind, your emotions and to a certain extent your life. Remember that we live in a social system where physical freedom is limited. But our intellectual freedom is guaranteed under law and it is up to us to break the chains of our own delusions and become truly loving human beings.


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