Wife & Husband


The meaning of the words

W --- wonderful
I ---- item
F --- for
E --- entertainment


H---- handsome
U --- useful
S --- smart
B --- but
A --- at
N --- night
D --- dangerous

F - frustrated
I - impatient
N - neurotic
E - emotionally unstable


A couple are going out for a night on the town. They're all dolled up, ready to go; the lights left on, the dog put out. But just as the taxi arrives and they step out of the house, the dog darts back inside and won't come out. They don't want to leave the dog inside, so the husband goes upstairs to find it, while the wife goes to wait in the taxi. Not wanting it known that the house will be empty, she explains to the driver that her husband had just gone 'to say good-bye to my mother'.

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' he says. 'Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat-hanger to get her to come out ! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the backyard! She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again!'...

The silence in the cab was deafening.

Lucky husband....

Wife called her scientist husband.
"Honey... It's Saturday... and you are late."
Husband: I'm busy with my team in an experiment.
Wife: What's that?
We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH *(alcohol)* with ambiant temperature H2O *(water)* and aqueous CO2 *(soda)*. To cool this mixture to a super low temperature, we added solidified H2O *(ice cubes)*, now while waiting for some protein *(snacks)*, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine *(smoking)*... It's around a 4 or 5 hour experiment.. So I will be late home."
Wife : Oh dear... I won't disturb you. Take ur time...

Advice To Husbands
Listen to her as she speaks about her day, even if it sounds boring. I’m sure she listens to you when you talk about computers and IT using terminology she doesn’t understand. She’s probably been waiting all day for you to come home so she can tell you about what happened, so be a good listener and show you’re interested in what she says (well, either she speaks to you, or she speaks to another man, what would you like?).


A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and his friends are quite jealous. When one of them asks him how he landed such a hot 23 year old beauty the millionaire said “I faked my age."

His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said. "Well", he replied.  "I said I was 87!"


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